Everything You Need to Know to Throw a Party Worthy of a God
by Aegir Fornljotson
If you've picked up this book, then you're probably hosting a party sometime soon and want to know how to make sure that the mead cups stay full, the suckling pig doesn't burn, and the lefse stays light and airy. Or maybe you've heard about my legendary bashes on Hlér Island and just want to know how I manage to throw amazing parties time and again.
Either way, this book's for you. It's full of ways you can guarantee that your parties will be the talk of the town. Here, my party-planning secrets will be revealed—and so will juicy anecdotes from many of my most renowned gatherings. So what are you waiting for? Sit back, relax, and get ready to party!
Chapter I: Pre-Game
Careful planning is the essence of a good party. You have to make sure that you have enough food, mead, and entertainment so that everyone goes home full and happy. But before you can plan all that, you have to consider very carefully:
Who Goes on the Guest List?
Will your party be human/Aesir/giant/dwarf only? Or do you plan to mix people from all walks of life? There are advantages and disadvantages to each option, of course.
If you only invite similar types of people, you don't have to worry about the giants getting in a fight with Thor, or the dwarves feuding with the Aesir about who really owns Freyja's necklace. Your party will be drama-free. But on the other hand, it may also be kind of boring. After all, who wants to go to a party if there's no chance of seeing a good fight? Just make sure it doesn't get out of hand.
At my last party, for example, I made the mistake of inviting Loki. When he became jealous about all the praise my servant Fimafeng was getting from the guests, he killed him! No sooner had we chased him away than he came back to the party and started insulting all my guests. Now that's the kind of person I recommend keeping off your guest list. Otherwise, you risk seeing your carefree gathering turn into a bloodbath.
Food and Drink
Nothing is more important to a good party than the right food and drink. A suckling pig is great because you can just throw it on the spit and let it roast while you mix and mingle. But you'll want to check your guest list and make a note of any special dietary needs. When Thor's coming over, for example, I always throw a couple extra oxen on the grill. And no matter who's invited, be sure to have plenty of mead!
For big gatherings, you may want to consider renting extra equipment. I have the most cauldrons of anybody in Asgard (it's one of the reasons I'm the go-to party guy), but even I have to borrow dishes when all of the Aesir are invited. Last time I threw a party, I borrowed a mile-wide mead cauldron from Hymir. It took some (ahem) gentle persuasion from Thor to convince him, but it was totally worth it to have bottomless mead for the evening. If you don't have Thor to persuade people to lend you their stuff, you may have to shell out some dough at a party equipment rental place. I use Asgard Home Accents in a pinch.
Chapter II: The Day of the Party
It's not just the guests that want to have a good time at your party—you do too, right? Otherwise, why throw one? Fortunately, the right personnel can ensure that all you have to do on the day of the party is mix, mingle, and enjoy the fun.
Food and Door Staff
I take the utmost care to choose gracious, hard-working servants for my household, and train them well. Guests at my party always comment on how wonderful my servants, Fimafeng and Eldir, are. The mead cups are never empty and the hors d'oeuvres platters are always refilled quickly. Plus, they make clean-up the day after the event a breeze.
In addition to serving staff, you'll want to consider hiring bouncers. (Because if you follow the tips in this guide, everybody will be beating a path to your door just begging to get in.) Jotunheim is a good place to look for big guys to guard the door.
A warm fire is the best welcome. On warm summer evenings, you may want to light candles instead. But I've come up with a creative alternative to both of those options: gold! That's right, just have your servants polish all your gold until it's bright and sparkly, and you won't need any extra light. Your hall will gleam with bling!
But more important than food, décor, staff, or even the guest list, is you. If you are truly welcoming, your guests will feel welcomed no matter what. And if you have a good time at your party, your guests will too, I guarantee it.
Just be sure not to invite Loki.