Make way for the king. King Agamemnon, that is. Back in the day, Agamemnon, King of Mycenae, was one of the biggest, most powerful dudes in Greece. When his brother's wife, Helen, ran off with Paris of Troy, Agamemnon was a shoe-in pick for five star general to lead the Greeks against Troy.
Sounds great, right? But as it goes in Greek mythology, success almost always means doom. For Agamemnon, doom came in the form of his wife, Clytemnestra, who stabbed him in a bathtub after he got home from the war. To be fair, though, he was kind of a conceited jerk who totally let the power go to his head.
The Daddy Mac
|Occupation||King of Mycenae (a.k.a. Argos)
Hero (I think so at least)
|Education||The Zeus School of Kingliness
Ares' Academy of War
|Political views||I should be the king of all men.|
|Children||Iphigenia (who I had to sacrifice)
Orestes (who revenged my murder by killing Clytemnestra)
Electra (who helped Orestes get revenge)
Chrysothemis (meh... I never really liked her)
|Friends||Menelaus (my brother who didn't know how to keep his wife, Helen, in check)
Odysseus (well, we were more like work buddies)
|Enemies||Every Citizen of Troy (especially Paris, who stole my brother's wife, Helen)
Clytemnestra (my wife who murdered me)
Aegisthus (my cousin who helped my wife murder me and took my throne)
|Relationship status||Was married to Clytemnestra, but then she killed me… so yeah.
Favorite love slaves included Chryseis, Briseis, and Cassandra
|Interested in||I like my ladies young, pretty, and (preferably) non-homicidal.|
|Quotations||"It is well to be born either a king or a fool." |
"Regrets I've had a few,
But then again too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course,
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this
I did it my way."
– Frank Sinatra
"May God have mercy on my enemies, because I won't."
– General George S. Patton
"I ain't no angel.
I still got a few more dances with the devil.
I'm cleanin' up my act, little by little.
I'm getting there.
I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see.
I ain't as good as I'm gonna get,
But I'm better than I used to be."
– Tim McGraw
"Wise were the kings who never chose a friend till with full cups they had unmasked his soul, and seen the bottom of his deepest thoughts."
|Books||Titus Andronicus by William Shakespeare (This play is totally gruesome. It reminds me of my home life.) |
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin
"The Charge of the Light Brigade" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren
Long Day's Journey Into Night by Eugene O'Neill (This family is almost as dysfunctional as mine... almost.)
"Beat! Beat! Drums!" by Walt Whitman
The Iliad by Homer (Kind of obligated to like this one, right?)
The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (Both war and peace proved problematic for me.)
|Music||Agamemnon by Rathergood.com (Okay, this made me mad when I first saw it on YouTube, but then it got stuck in my head.)
Better Than I Used to Be by Tim McGraw (New favorite)
Maneater by Hall and Oates (Totally reminds me of Clytemnestra)
Hats Off to the Bull by Chevelle
Knockin' on Heaven's Door by Guns N' Roses
Wild Ones by Flo Rida
Somethin' Bout a Truck by Kip Moore
Love Bites by Def Leppard (If you're married to Clytemnestra love does more than bite; it stabs you in the bathtub.)
My Way by Frank Sinatra (Old fave)
The King's Speech
The Lord of the Rings
The Dictator (Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself...)
|TV Shows||Game of Thrones|
The Society for Creative Anachronisms
Gun and knife shows
|Activities||Ruling those less worthy than myself
Making war on those less worthy than myself
Making love to those less worthy than myself
Getting murdered by those less worthy than myself
|Groups||Heroes of the Trojan War |
Union of Kings
Murdered by Our Wives Support Group