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Bertram Timeline and Summary

  • 1.1: Bertram's dad has recently died. He's in mourning and isn't thrilled that the king of France has just become his legal guardian.
  • 1.1: Oblivious as ever, he doesn't notice that Helen is in love with him.
  • 1.1: Bertram says goodbye to his mom and travels to Paris to live at the king's court.
  • 2.3: The king of France tells him he has to marry Helen, and he totally flips out.
  • 2.3: Despite the flip out, Bertram marries Helen off-stage. He's unhappy about it.
  • 2.3: He refuses to have sex with his new wife and plots to run away to fight a foreign war in Italy.
  • 2.3: Bertram plots to send Helen back to Roussillon so he can escape to Italy without getting busted by the French king.
  • 2.3: Here's the simple plan: he tells Helen that he'll follow her to Roussillon ASAP and sends her on her way.
  • 2.4: Helen asks for a kiss goodbye and Bertram tells her that she better hurry up and leave.
  • 3.2: We find out that Bertram has run away and joined the Florentine army and that he's sent word that he's not coming back to France until Helen is dead.
  • 3.3: Bertram is promoted to general of the Florentine cavalry.
  • 3.5: It turns out Bertram has been sleeping around in Florence and is currently trying to seduce a local virgin (Diana).
  • 3.6: Bertram and his friends decide to play a prank on Paroles that will reveal him to be a coward and a traitor.
  • 4.2: Bertram goes to Diana's house and puts the moves on her. He gives her his family ring and thinks that he's convinced her to sleep with him later that night.
  • 4.3: When he hears Paroles talking trash about him, Bertram disowns his friend.
  • 4.3-4.4: Off-stage, Bertram has had sex with Helen, but thinks he's been with Diana.
  • 5.2: The Italian war is over. Bertram arrives at his childhood home in Roussillon.
  • 5.3: Everyone thinks Helen is dead. The king is about to announce Bertram's engagement to Lafeu's daughter when he notices that Bertram is wearing a ring that once belonged to Helen. (Helen gave it to him the night they slept together, so Bertram thinks he got the ring from Diana.)
  • 5.3: Bertram is arrested on suspicion of murdering Helen.
  • 5.3: When Helen shows up pregnant and with Bertram's family ring, Bertram promises to be a good husband to her. (Um, okay...)