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Split scene: On one side of the stage we see Joe and Louis in bed; Joe is awake and Louis is asleep. On the other side of the stage we see Harper standing in her apartment wearing a natty nightgown.
Harper slips the nightgown off and stands in her bra and panties.
Joe's mom Hannah comes in. She's glad Harper finally took off the nightgown. Hannah gives Harper a dress to put on and combs her hair.
Hannah says she's been trying to get in touch with Joe but he's avoiding her because he's ashamed.
"I miss his penis," says Harper (3.1.11).
"And I'm sure you'll understand if I don't feel comfortable discussing that," replies Hannah (3.1.12).
Hannah says she's going to finish getting ready, then they can go.
Through some magic ability, Harper sees Joe in Louis' apartment. She crosses into Louis' apartment, saying "Don't worry, I'm not really here. I have terrible powers. I see more than I want to see. Maybe I'm a witch" (3.1.14).
Joe tells her she's not a witch.
"I could be a witch. Why not? I married a fairy," Harper replies (3.1.16).
Louis stirs in bed, but Joe tells him to go back to sleep.
Harper tells Joe that he called her there. Joe denies doing any such thing, but she insists he did.
Harper admits that she must magically be there to see him any way she possibly can.
She points out that Joe is in love with Louis. Harper tells her husband that he can't save Louis and that he's pathetic.
Louis wakes up.
He says he had a weird nightmare where he and Joe went to a restaurant to celebrate having spent a month in bed. When they got there, though, it was some kind crazy temple, and there was a really angry woman there. Louis says that in the dream "it turned out that [Joe was] a member of some bizarre religious sect, like a Moonie or a Rajnishi or a Mormon or something" (3.1.37).
Joe stares at Louis for a second and says, "I am. I am a Mormon" (3.1.38).