by Ayn Rand
Balph probably wins the award for stupidest name in the whole book. At least the Nickname Looters crowd had real names that weren't quite as silly. Balph is just ridiculous. And he obviously has some problems with his name: we get a couple of places where he snidely corrects people who get it wrong.
Balph is an author, and though he didn't write our favorite fake book, The Vulture Is Molting, he wrote something that comes a close second:
"What is the name of your new novel?" asked the wealthy woman.
"The Heart is a Milkman"
"What is it about?"
Balph seems to love Lillian Rearden, which is another definite strike against him in this novel. Overall he's shown to be a very snobby and needy person. He often accosts James, asking for his approval, and presumably his protection in the cutthroat world of the looters. Balph shows us what a sorry low arts and culture have sunk to in the country.