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Bes

Bes

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Bes

What Bes lacks in height, he makes up for in pure charisma. Bes is the Egyptian dwarf god, and he's also the Father of Fertility, the Frightener-Off of Fiends, and the Master of Memorable Music. When he gets going into a good groove, Bes will shake his lion's mane-esque beard like there's no tomorrow. When he needs to protect women and children, though, Bes is all business, sticking his tongue out in a fierce pose to scare off demons.

Basic Information

NameBes
NicknameBessy, Big B
SexMale
Current cityI live all over. I can't remember where I was born—it might've been in Nubia—but since then, I hang out in all sorts of places to protect the families that worship me.

Work & Education

OccupationProtector of families and women in childbirth; god of dwarves, luck, and prosperity. I scare off bad spirits and dangerous animals from babies and other helpless things.
EducationI learned from the gods how to protect those pesky humans.

Beliefs

Political viewsI'm campaigner-in-chief for Ra as king of the gods.

Family & Friends (& Enemies)

ParentsMy parents live back in Nubia
SiblingsNone
ChildrenNope
FriendsHathor (we like to boogie together) and Taweret 
EnemiesAny evil spirits trying to harm pregnant women

Relationships

Relationship statusIt's complicated with Beset (my female counterpart) and my business partner, Taweret
Interested inLadies of all statures

Favorites

Quotations"I failed to make the chess team because of my height."
– Woody Allen

"Luck is the by-product of busting your fanny."
– Don Sutton

"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
– Gloria Steinem

"I tend to think you're fearless when you recognize why you should be scared of things, but do them anyway."
– Christian Bale
BooksAeneid by Virgil
I love the dance party Aeneas and Dido had together.
The Giver by Lois Lowry
I help give women the gift of kids—because I get them through the hard part.
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
What little women wouldn't love a little man?
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
I'm slightly taller than a hobbit.
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
The Black Cat by Edgar Allan Poe
I love all kitties, like a good Egyptian.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
All's Well That Ends Well by William Shakespeare
A Perfect Day for Bananafish by J.D. Salinger
Who doesn't love a good bananafish?
MusicDancing in the Street by Martha and the Valuables
I love grooving and dancing through the streets of Memphis.
The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground
Four Women by Nina Simone
I have helped many more than that give birth.
Kids by MGMT
Who doesn't love helping babies be born?
Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys
Boyz N the Hood by Eazy-E
Me and the other gods are the boyz in the Egyptian 'hood.
Dancing Queen by ABBA
Good Luck Charm by Elvis Presley
MoviesThe Business of Being Born
I'm the CEO of this business.
Dirty Dancing
Spirits of the Dead
Magic
Nubia: the Forgotten Kingdom

I love stories about my homeland.
The Lion King
I've got a mane just like Simba's.
Good Night, and Good Luck
Monsters

Some people think I'm this kind of monster—but I'm actually on the good side.
TV ShowsLuck
I know a thing or two about scaring off bad luck.
Little People, Big World
They should've made this show about me and my family.
Married with Children
Being married with kids can be rough. Trust me.
Mysteries of Egypt

Activities & Interests

LikesDrums
Long beards
Lions
Babies
Lucky charms
ActivitiesSticking my tongue out at evil demons
Getting pregnant women ice chips
Boxing
Dancing in the street
Practicing the tango
InterestsDance anthropology
Africana studies
Egyptology
Reproductive studies
Obstetrics
GroupsDance is My Life
The Macabre and the Beautifully Grotesque
I'm Shorter Than 5'9"
Childbirth Information Network
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