Welcome to Shmoop's Biology 101, your virtual home for all things vegetable, animal, and mineral. Before we jump into the beastin' world of Biology, let's go through some pros and cons of the online version, as opposed to the real thing.
- You will not need to shower eight times to get the smell of formaldehyde out of your hair after dissecting those frogs.
- You will not need to worry about shattering a beaker and going into DEFCON 1 as your teacher assembles a perimeter around the broken glass.
- You will not be accidentally electrocuted while trying to plug in a microscope after one of your idiot classmates breaks off some metal in the socket. (Trust us, it happens. And it hurts.)
- You can eat while studying. We don't know about your school, but that was generally frowned upon in our biology classes.
- You can wear your pajamas! Or, nothing at all, if you really want to. Just remember to turn off your webcams first. We know that bizness isn't allowed at your regular, old, non-virtual high school.
- No cleaning the mess afterward. Score.
- We can't replicate that oh-so-unique biology classroom smell. Actually, maybe that's a pro.
- There are no opportunities for sparkly vampire lab partners, à la Twilight. Maybe study with a buddy to stave off those feelings of loss. What will you do without your lover with the creepy stare and an apparent anger management problem?
- No killing things. This should also be a pro. Who put this here?
- No touching dead things. Again, probably a pro. Rock on, Internet.
- We cannot replicate the truly enlightening experience of having a semi-narcoleptic lab partner. All we have to say is, keep away all sharp objects.
- No microscopes. We are not gonna lie. Microscopes are beyond awesome.
- No furry bunnies, lamp-lovin' lizards, or suicidal fish that have nightmares…we mean, pleasant dreams…about students poking them, shouting at them, and forgetting to feed them. PetCo is just down the street.
- No field trips to the zoo. Another legit con. Request a zoo field trip by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.