"Is anyone here a marine biologist?" You are. Go get 'em, fish lover.

You're a microbiologist working on a federally-funded grant. Your efforts to locate the "ugly gene" have been fruitless thus far.

You're a biochemist employed by a large university. You train students and help them perform relevant research. And some irrelevant research, when there's time.

You're a biophysicist working for the government within the field of neuroscience. No one you mention that to knows what that is, but they're all very impressed.

You found the cure for cancer. Imagine—something as simple as combining milk and ketchup. It's disgusting, but it gets the job done.