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Bell Curve


Beans for Brains. Salary: $100,000 

You nearly slipped and carved your patient's brain like it was a jack-o-lantern. You've gotta stop mentally reviewing your vacation slides during surgery. Something tells us you won't have the chance to repeat your mistake.


Brain Drain. Salary: $250,000 

You've just gotten out of your eight-year residency program and are working the night shift. Like...every night shift. What was it like having a social life? Didn't you used to have a few of those "friend" things?


Playing the Brain Game. Salary: $393,000 

You're the new head of the Department of Neurological Surgery, you're getting your academic papers published, and you haven't seen a lawsuit in years. Life is good. So is the new sports car.


Paging Dr. Brainiac. Salary: $550,000 

You've touched hundreds of famous brains. They name a new institute after you and give you a parking spot in front. Sometimes, you amuse yourself by pointing and laughing at the people who have to park way far away.


The Big Brain. Salary: $750,000 

You discovered the cure for a terrible neurological disease that caused the patient's brain to expand until hitting the skull. Millions of people are now healthy and no longer at risk. It's given you a big head, which has a certain irony.