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Bell Curve


"DJ". Salary: $18,000 or less 

You make mixtapes and playlists for your friends. Few say thank you. Fewer ask you to work gigs for them, and even fewer intend to actually pay you for said gigs. Man, this job is hard. You call yourself a "DJ," but let's get real: If we're basing title on income, you're actually a consumer sales representative at Barnes and Noble. Sorry, squirt.


Novice DJ. Salary: $25,500 

Do you know the difference between a Bar and Bat Mitzvah? You will. One rule: Always play the songs requested by the father. And maybe not so loud. "You're Still a Young Man?" Maybe not such a great idea. Don't worry. You'll get there.


Actual DJ. Salary: $33,975 

A guest DJ gig is nice, but like most guests, you can't stay long. You're still in the land of people throwing their hands in the air like they just don't care. Just keep staring at the turntables pretending you're DJ Tiesto. And who knows? Maybe someday you will be.


Up-and-Comer. Salary: $42,000 

You don't take requests, people request you. And they pay you to be there. Your name is all over the Internet on tracks like "BeatsBrat2000 (feat. Iktathaurus Wrex) Double Dutch mix a.k.a. DroneAttack.mp3" and people actually know which one is your name. It's good to be you...whoever you are.


Ego-Fueled Spinmaster. Salary: $68,000 

Not only do you spin for celebrities, you are one. You've got your own CDs and videos. You fill stadiums in London and Brazil and produce new talent. Your videos get played at clubs all over the world and your music shows up on TV commercials and movies. Your uncle asks if you know Moby and you roll your eyes.