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Copy Editor

Typical Day

Dick Shunnaire walks into the office ten minutes past 10am. He hates being late, because it pushes his busy day into overdrive. He was up late editing the manuscript for his own novel. It's a story about a saucy woman who falls in love with a pancake. The pancake moves to Paris and turns into a total crepe. (Good thing he has a day job.)

The deadline for this article that he is editing closes at the end of the day. (Close is an industry term for when an article has to be completed for publication.) Generally, The Talker magazine closes their critic pieces in the beginning of the week, fiction closes on Wednesday, and the longer pieces close by the end of the day on Friday. He already has 15 emails from the head of the copy department. Sigh.

He sits to read a piece about a new play. There are several changes that need to be made. He changes the word colour to color. Who wrote this article? The Queen? Furthermore, the writer did not spell out all the numbers. The play is about the plight of Socialist seals sailing the high seas during the summer. All but one speak with a lisp. They suspect he's selling stock on the exchange. They exchange the trader for a sandwich.

Made by the Earl of Sandwich himself.

"This guy must not have read The Talker's style guide before submitting this missive. Didn't you proofread before I got it?" John says.

"Why?" Amy asks as she snaps away at bubblegum and proofs an article about what puppies dream entitled "Pavlovian REM."

"He's not using the serial comma. How easy is it to place a comma before a coordinating conjunction?"

"We have Cheerios in the kitchen."

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