Typical Day

Typical Day

It's 7:30AM on a Monday morning, and the last thing Jerry Starstruck wants to do is get out of bed. Thankfully, he resists the urge to hit the snooze button, because he knows that cycle will simply never end. It's been a long weekend. With all the parties and press conferences related to his client's new movie, Jerry wouldn't even classify it as a weekend. It was fun and all, but staying energized, presentable, and charming for seventy-two straight hours is hard work.

Before rolling out of bed, Jerry checks his texts, voicemails, emails, Facebook page, Twitter feed, Instagram, and LinkedIn profile. Nothing seems terribly pressing, so he showers and suits up (literally). He drinks his first cup of coffee of the day while perusing the celeb gossip pages, then hops in his Mercedes Benz.

His office is five miles away, but five miles in L.A. might as well be fifty. After forty-five minutes of honking and yelling at people who can't hear him, Jerry strolls into the office, calm as a cool ocean breeze.

His secretary hands him his second cup of coffee and a list of messages that he probably won't read. If it were really important, he would've already heard about it.

He fires up his Mac and makes sure his cell phone, his work phone, and his landline are all in reach. He'll spend about ninety percent of his day talking to clients, managers, studio lawyers, film financiers, etc. His first task for the day is negotiating a contract for an actor with a studio. Jerry knows the right strings to pull and buttons to press, and he finalizes a sweet deal within a half-hour.

His next assignment is a little tougher. Union contracts can be tricky, but Jerry needs to ensure that his stuntmen get adequate medical coverage. You never know what could happen when you jump out of a vehicle that's on fire and moving at warp speed. With that matter settled, Jerry decides to call his new client Hope Willmakitt. Her TV series The Whale Whisperer turned out to be a huge hit, and now she needs some financial guidance regarding her newfound riches.

Hope answers the phone, "Hi Mr. Starstruck. So glad you called—I was just deciding what house to buy!"

Intrigued, Jerry asks what her options are. She has two: a million-dollar beach bungalow and a two-million- dollar castle-esque mansion in the hills. "I know it's more expensive, but Jennifer Lawrence lives next door! And it has a bowling alley!"

Jerry knows he can't argue with those kinds of perks, so he goes a different route. "Hope, I understand that you've always wanted to be BFFs with Jenny, but think about how much the sound of the ocean waves calms your anxiety."

Hope concedes, knowing that her anxiety issues could ruin her career. Besides, Jennifer Lawrence is probably never at home. Jerry metaphorically pats himself on the back for saving his client one million dollars that she doesn't have.

He starts to conduct research regarding a case against a fanatic fan that invaded his client's privacy (to be fair, Bobby Blueeyes really does have a mesmerizing gaze). He then realizes that his paralegal can take care of the busy work, and he drops the case on her desk and heads to the gym. Staying fit is part of his image, so he makes sure to hit the pump shack at least five times a week.

He uses his car's built-in Bluetooth to catch up with a few buddies from law school on his way. They're on retainer for famous movie directors, and Jerry just knows that those connections will pay off someday. At the gym, he tries to stay focused but keeps seeing people he knows (or at least know him). Eventually he gives up and runs outside. His heart could use the exercise, and his cheeks are starting to hurt from fake-smiling so much anyway.

After hitting the showers and getting back to work, Jerry's afternoon is filled with litigation meetings. He tries to avoid court at all costs, but this production company totally screwed over one of his clients. Maintaining that they did nothing wrong, the company only offered to settle for a fraction of what Milly Maker deserves.

Jerry knows that this lawsuit is going to consume his time for a few weeks, but hey, he gets a third of the winnings. And he knows that he's going to crush the competition and win millions for Milly, so there's nothing to worry about. Life could be worse.

He strategizes for a few hours with some mid-level attorneys at his firm. When he realizes it's past 5:00PM, he leaves them to it and bolts to happy hour. Clocking hours at work is important, but so is putting in good hours at the bar. He's made lucrative connections over whiskey sours and calamari.

Tonight he meets a group of agents whose go-to attorney just fell from grace after losing a trial and landing his client in state-sentenced rehab (even though everyone knew he needed it). Jerry lets them know that he would never lose such an easy case and hands them some business cards. He'll be hearing from them soon.

At 7:30AM Jerry meets his date for the night, Lola Loverly, at Italia Romanzia. They each order the restaurant's world famous chicken masala, and the conversation is flowing so well they split a tiramisu dessert as well. They plan to go out again, but Jerry can't give her a definite date. Instead he says, "I'll call you when I find a time that works with my schedule."

He heads home, realizing that he ruined any chance with Lola by addressing her like a business contact. He's a class-A schmoozer, not flirter. After a moment of regret, he quickly recovers, remembering that he's still young. Besides, he's married to his work right now anyway.