FBI AgentTypical Day

As the FBI’s website proudly notes, “There is no such thing as a typical day for an FBI Special Agent.” If you could somehow be involved in every aspect of Special Agenting, though, this is probably how your day would go:

FBI Special Agent Ronnie Idaho was up late last night conducting surveillance for a classified political corruption case of the utmost national security, so he slept in until 4:30 a.m. today. After he’s shaved, showered, and gotten dressed—dark suit, dark tie, dark sunglasses— he heads to the firing range to practice his accuracy with a handgun.

^{A little closer...}

Around 7:00 a.m., Agent Idaho heads to his local field office—one of 56 in the country—to meet with his squad for an update on the case. After going over new evidence that an agent at a local resident agency office uncovered—there are 380 resident agencies in the country— Idaho meets with his Assistant Director for a briefing.

Hungry from his morning of meetings and handguns, Special Agent Idaho heads to lunch around 12:30 p.m., though since he’s meeting with a source close to the alleged corrupt politician, he’s technically still on the clock. The informant does not offer any new information, but when Idaho tails him after the lunch, he discovers that the informant may also be deeply involved in the corruption scandal, which may lead to a break in the case. Special Agent Idaho enlists the aid of Special Agent Harold D. Hacker from the Cyber Division to peruse the informant’s credit card and banking history and look for any possible connections to the corrupt politician. Special Agent Hacker discovers a money trail that leads to known terrorist cell, giving Idaho everything he needs.

Having gained sufficient evidence to request a warrant, Agent Idaho searches the informant’s home, discovering a hidden cache of files further connecting the corrupt politician to drug lords in Colombia, dissidents in Cuba, and an elusive human trafficking ring in Cambodia. Idaho smiles for the first time all day, knowing that he now has the politician exactly where he wants him. It’s a very small smile, and he doesn’t let his fellow agents see, but it’s a smile nonetheless.

At 6:15 p.m., the corrupt politician that Agent Idaho has been investigating returns home from the “massage parlor” to find the FBI waiting for him. Idaho makes the arrest, glad that none of the major news outlets caught wind of the investigation before he was able to make his bust (Special Agent Idaho isn’t doing this for fame or glory; he just wants to catch bad guys).

^{You can always tell a bad guy by the black sack they wear over their head.}

With the corrupt politician in custody, Agent Idaho heads back to his field office to update his files and fill out paperwork on the case. He finally makes it back home around 11:30 p.m., musing that, given how his day unfolded, he might actually allow himself to sleep in until 5.