Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

You have been cut from every team you have ever made and you haven't made that many. You try, but stick handling and passing just aren't your strong points. Shooting really isn’t either. You've also been known to struggle with body checking. And skating. The coach has more than once asked if you'd stand in as a shooting target for the rest of the team. You're pretty sure he was kidding.

2
25%

You've been playing in the minors for a few years now and have bounced from team to team. A step up to the big time isn't looking likely these days. At 27 years old, you're no spring chicken, and you already have six false teeth. Maybe you can impress the scouts this year, provided they forget that time last February when you knocked the puck into your own team's  net.

3
50%

You are a solid defenseman and have been playing pro hockey for about seven years now. You've done a few brief stints on NHL squads filling in for players when they're hurt, but you can't seem to convince them to keep you on when the main guys come back. Thankfully you have some sense and forethought, so in what little spare time you have you’ve been taking college classes. Your girlfriend's father is a bank manager and has offered to set you up with an entry-level gig if you can’t make the squad next year.

4
75%

You are a second shift right-winger in the NHL. You had a killer season last year and two local restaurants named dishes after you. You haven't quite been able to capture last year's glory again, but you still produce. The town likes you and you haven't had any major joints surgically replaced yet. Win-win!

5
95%

You have two NHL MVP awards and a shot at a third with your numbers from this season. Your endorsements almost equal your hockey salary, and you had the good fortune to get drafted by the Dallas Stars so you don't pay a state income tax on any of it!