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Bell Curve


One-Star Manager. Salary: $28,000 

Your run-down discount inn off a minor highway doesn't look great, but it offers a room at a decent rate with cable that usually works. The days are spent trying to maximize the amount of guests who see your sign off the side of the road. The nights are spent trying to minimize the amount of shady characters who can see your sign off the side of the road.


Two-Star Manager. Salary: $40,000 

You work at a small hotel, trying to bring in more guests with a brand new restaurant. You don't have enough to pay your chef and a handyman, so now your duties include tightening the bolts on the lamps and fixing the occasional toilet leak. We're just kidding—leaking toilets are a regular concern.


Three-Star Manager. Salary: $55,000 

You've been in the business long enough to have gained the respect of your staff and clients. The hotel you run is fairly pretty and always safe, and you're cool with having your parents stay there when they come to town. It's a lot better than having to put them up in the living room (again). After all, you're not running a hotel. Well you are, but—never mind.


Four-Star Manager. Salary: $72,000 

Now that you manage a lovely boutique hotel downtown, your days are some of the most fragrant you've ever known. From the lobby to the hallways to the spa, the building is filled with potent flowers and circulating aromas. Sometimes it's so strong you almost pine for the smells of the one-star stank pit you used to run. Almost.


Five-Star Manager. Salary: $90,000 

You run one of the top luxury hotels in the nation. The client list to whom you cater is filled with VIPs like movies stars and politicians. When Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie stay, you get invited up to the penthouse for dinner with their very large family. Of course, you call them Brad and Angie, but you don't let it go to your head.