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Mob Boss

  • The Real Poop

  • Typical Day

  • Salary

  • Power

  • Fame

  • Glory

  • Stress

  • Physical Danger

  • Qualifications

  • Odds of Getting In

  • Odds of Hanging On

  • Career as Depicted in Popular or Unpopular Culture

  • Tools of the Trade

  • Bell Curve

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Mob BossPhysical Danger

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You’ve been going to Fuzzy the Barber for 30 years. He knows what you like from your shaves and you trust him to give it: A straight razor, sharpened by a strop, the smell of leather and soap and the sensation of warm water lulling you to a blissful nap. Needless to say, Fuzzy has a steadier hand than Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel.

If one day (Got forbid) Fuzzy accidentally nicked you, your muscles, the beefy guys you have with you at all times would take his head off.

Yeah, your guys are with you all the time, your car has bulletproof glass and your lieutenants always perform a sweep of any restaurant, café, bar or other public place that you frequent before you can enter. When you’ve got power, glory, fame and a big fat wad of money in your pocket at all times, you can be sure there will be people who want to kill you. You’ve got to be vigilant at all times—with your housekeeper, your barber, your in-laws…

Every Mob Boss has an ego as big as the Vatican and you can be sure that most of them want to be the only boss and will do whatever it takes to ensure that—be it gang wars, secret hits or convincing one of their own soldiers to turn state’s evidence against another Don.

Watch your back. And your front. And hire the biggest guys you can to help.

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