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We’re pretty sure we watched your story last night on VH1's Behind the Money. Amazing how you got back on the wagon after blowing half your fortune on Home Shopping Network purchases. Yeah—keep dreaming. Unfortunately for you, the world is not a place where everybody knows your name. That's okay though. Your bizarro name would look weird on a marquee anyway. But everybody on Wall Street might know your name. You’ve heard of Warren Buffet, right? Bill Gross? Bill Miller? If you watch CNBC or have ever skimmed a Wall Street Journal, you oughta know. And they are rich. Seriously.

And there is, of course, the other way to get famous. You don't want to get there via your next 10-15 years of dating Bubbah in prison, hoping for time off for good behavior....