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Bell Curve


You get your first commission: painting a mural on the wall at Subway. The owner wants lots of meatball subs flying through space, but you want to paint ham and cheese sandwiches climbing through a jungle. You paint both and no one is happy.


You've been working on a show for the last month. The only thing that you've had to eat was a package of noodles that was in your cabinet when you moved in. Your paintings look like a blur to you. People at the show love your new work. All of the colors blend together to look like spaghetti. You sell one painting.


 A gallery represents your work. You sell enough every month to quit your day job and focus on painting.


You get a show at the New York Museum of Modern Art. Chuck Close stops by to chat about your paintings. David Hockney invites you to lunch and you share a roast beef sandwich. Audrey Flack sits down to tell you about how Koons borrowed her iPod and lost it in Paris. You are feeling like a million bucks, which is about how much your paintings are worth.


You are named "Most Powerful Artist" by ArtReview magazine. Your paintings of the environmental problems in the United States have helped promote new legislative action. You have galleries all over the world. Qatar is buying two of your paintings for $300 million each.