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Fame

We're all angling for our 15 minutes of fame. Some of us swallow an obscene number of hot dogs in three minutes while others cross Niagara Falls on a scary-skinny tightrope. Those with insanely bad judgment, usually celebrities with way too much money and precious little gray matter, end up as tabloid fodder every week or two. Of course, you're looking for something a bit more subtle.

Perhaps you've given Indiana Jones a run for his money. You virtually lived at a remote dig site for years, only coming out every few months to stock up on food and beer. You ran off packs of wild dogs, endured boiling heat and freezing cold, and were even forced to work without your music when your player's solar charger gave up the ghost. Alas, you toiled in anonymity for years, until your grad assistant's sister started dating a Hollywood producer. Now you've got a whole film crew watching you eat, sleep, and dig. The potty is definitely off limits, though. Some things are sacred. Rumor has it they're looking for an earthy, raunchy Hollywood actor type to play you in the movie. We've got a few ideas.

On the other hand, maybe you've made an amazing discovery that puts you in high school textbooks, as you helped researchers connect more dots in the “missing link” riddle of humans and their descendants. We won't say what or where, as we don't want the site littered with Hollywood producers or Nat Geo magazine writers. Let's just say they've named this new creature after you. Your university might even scrounge up some more cash for your next expedition, which was your goal all along.

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