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Paralegal, Not “Two Legals”

Bell Curve

1
5%

The good news—you're a paralegal! The bad news—you went to law school to become a lawyer. Guess you weren't a very good one.

2
25%

You're a paralegal for the state government in an office in D.C. Your job is boring and you don’t make much money, but at least you get Inauguration Day off.

3
50%

You are a paralegal at a Property and Casualty law firm in Chicago. Only you pronounce it Praaaperty and Caaasualty.

4
75%

You are a paralegal at the largest law firm in Honolulu. Not only do you make a good living, but you get to live in freakin' Hawaii. That's like...your favorite archipelago.

5
95%

You started out as just a regular ol' paralegal, but your help on the Big Bird v. Snuffleupagus case blew it wide open and made you a front-page story. Despite the fame, you have mixed feelings. You really wish those two hadn’t come to such a gruesome end following the verdict.

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