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Cassandra

Cassandra

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Cassandra's Wall

Wall

There's a hilarious video of Agamemnon, singing "Call Me Maybe" in booty shorts on YouTube. You should totally check it out.

I posted it! Hilarious, right?

I know I should hate you because you killed my brother Hector, but that video is awesome.

Hey, your other brother Paris killed me, so we're square, right?

Anybody who goes out of their way to humiliate Agamemnon is alright in my book.

Yeah, he really is an awful person, right?

Disgusting and revolting. I would've rather even that little peon Ajax the Lesser make me his love slave than Agamemnon.

I hear that. Did you ever notice how Agamemnon kind of smells like a wet dog?

OMG, that's exactly what he smells like.

This is public, you know!

Oh, we know.

Sometimes I think I really should have taken Apollo up on his offer.

Oh, now you change your mind.

I only said that I think that sometimes. Most of the time, I think you're a total jerk for putting this awful curse on me.

I gave you the amazing gift of prophecy, and you refused to give yourself to me. How dare you, puny mortal?! You deserve to never be believed. You deserved all your suffering.

I deserved my awful life just because I hurt your feelings a little bit?

Yes!

What fools these immortals are.

I'm still a bit confused about why Clytemnestra felt the need to murder me.

Clytemnestra

You were my husband's lover!

What makes you think that was consensual in any way?

Clytemnestra

You do have a point.

I would've totally helped you kill him.

Clytemnestra

Really?

Of course! I hated him.

Clytemnestra

Well, I guess I owe you an apology.

Um... thanks, I guess.

Clytemnestra

For the record, you're totally right. He does smell like a wet dog.

Rhhhaaaaaaaaa!

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