Yossarian finds Nurse Duckett attractive. So the next morning, he makes a move.
She shrieks and stumbles backward, right into the waiting arms of Dunbar, who reaches forward and grabs her bosom. Yossarian and Dunbar continue harassing Nurse Duckett until she punches Dunbar and knocks him out.
A wrathful colonel chews out both Dunbar and Yossarian for feeling up Nurse Duckett. Dunbar defends himself by calling Yossarian crazy. He claims Yossarian dreams of holding a live fish in his hands every night. Freud, you want to take a stab at interpreting this one? We have no idea.
The colonel, aghast, sends Yossarian to the staff psychiatrist, Major Sanderson.
The shrink tries to figure out Yossarian's feelings toward his fish dream and Yossarian gives him completely made-up answers.
Eventually, Major Sanderson catches Yossarian contradicting himself (though Yossarian was doing it intentionally) and when Yossarian answers, "I suppose I have an ambivalent attitude toward [the dream]," Sanderson rejoices that Yossarian understands him.
Major Sanderson eventually concludes that the fish dream is a sex dream, and requests that Yossarian dream up answers to some of the questions he asked earlier.
Despite Yossarian's limp (his leg was injured at Leghorn, remember?), Major Sanderson concludes that Yossarian is in the hospital because of a stone in his salivary gland.
Yossarian asks his friends to provide dreams for him to tell Sanderson. The chaplain tells him about his gruesome nightmares about his wife and children dying.
Major Sanderson doesn't like those dreams and concludes that Yossarian is mad. Yossarian tries to use this as ammunition to convince Sanderson that he should be taken off duty, but Sanderson refuses.
He calls Yossarian "A. Fortiori." We find out that A. Fortiori is in the hospital for a stone in his salivary gland. It turns out Sanderson thought Yossarian was Dunbar and then Fortiori. He never thought he was Yossarian.
Time for a change of topics. We go back to Dobbs' conspiracy to kill Cathcart. Dobbs redoubles his attack on Yossarian because he has discovered that men in other squadrons only have to complete forty-five missions.
Yossarian refuses to help because he thinks his leg wound will get him sent home. Dobbs is mad. Everyone is self-serving.
We find out that the chaplain has seen Doc Daneeka about helping Yossarian, but it was futile. However, he hasn't given up. He plans to talk to Wintergreen as well.
Meanwhile, Major Sanderson concludes that Yossarian is crazy. He determines to send him home. Yossarian celebrates. A. Fortiori is going home.
But they have gotten identities mixed up. It is only A. Fortiori who is being sent home. Yossarian and Dunbar are sent right back into combat. A. Fortiori is made-up, in case you forgot. So no one is going home.