Holden changes his shirt so he can go downstairs to the Lavender Room. He wishes he could call his little sister Phoebe, except it's late and she's probably sleeping.
Apparently Phoebe is the smartest kid ever. Actually, so is D.B., and so was Allie, so Holden is the only one who isn't, he tells us.
Phoebe's ten and "roller-skate skinny." The good thing about her is that she always knows what you're talking about and can tell the difference between a good movie and a bad one. She's very emotional, he adds, and writes short stories about a girl named Hazel ("Hazle," she spells it).
Basically, she's amazing and "really kills" Holden and in fact anybody with any sense.
Holden makes it down to the Lavender Room, is disgusted by the band, and gives a blonde across the room the up-down.
He tries to order a drink and once again gets the old "What are you, twelve?" So he ends up with a coke.
Holden goes back to eyeing the blonde, who's sitting at a table with two other giggling women. He finally walks over and asks if anyone would like to dance, even though the three of them are a bunch of "morons."
The blonde is one of the best dancers partners Holden's ever had (which reminds us – she's the one who got up at his request).
However, because she's a "moron," she doesn't really listen to his compliments. Instead, she talks about how she and her girlfriends saw an actor, Peter Lorre, buying a newspaper the other night.
Holden, still impressed with her dancing, if not her conversational abilities, kisses her on the top of "her dopey head," which irritates the girl.
He asks her where she's from (Seattle), and tells her (ironically) that she's a good conversationalist. She doesn't get it, so he lets it go.
When she asks how old he is, Holden swears and then has to apologize for his language.
That's what he hates about girls – every time they do something cute he ends up half in love with them, even though they're "sort of stupid."
He ends up sitting down with the girls, even though they forget to invite him. He says his name is Jim Steele, and has a hard time getting them to talk about anything intelligent at all, especially the blonde (whose name is Bernice).
The other two girls (Marty and Laverne) are not attractive. Holden asks if they're sisters, which insults both of them, since neither wants to think she's as unattractive as the other.
Holden ends up dancing with all three of them and amusing himself by pretending to see movie stars all over the place. As in, "Look! Gary Cooper! Aw, you just missed him."
He buys them all drinks.
Finally, they all take off and stick Holden with the tab – thirteen bucks, which was a lot back then (remember, he sold his typewriter for twenty). He says they should have offered to pay for the drinks they had before he got there, not that he would have let them.
Mostly, he's depressed that they came all the way from Seattle, Washington to wear an ugly hat in New York City and get up early the next morning to see the first show at Radio City Music Hall. It's possibly the most depressing thing he's ever heard.