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Cerberus's Wall

Wall

Seriously, is there any way to keep Cerberus off my lawn?

What's the big deal?

Um, big lion claw marks in my grass.

So?

Puddles of venom in the driveway.

Whatever.

Flaming turds, Lord Hades. Flaming turds.

Please, My Lord, my husband and I are being terrorized. We're supposed to be living in Elysium. This is supposed to be a place for the blessed dead, but Cerberus is making it more like the Dungeons of the Damned.

So Orpheus just needs to stop playing his lyre all the time. He knows it attracts Cerberus.

Impossible!

He's a musician! It's what he does!

Be at peace, Orpheus and Eurydice, I think I have a solution.

?????????

Hades, you really need to control your dog. He almost took a bite out of me.

Well, maybe you shouldn't be trespassing in the Underworld. You're lucky you got by him the first time you came down here.

I'm a god now, and I demand more respect.

What are you doing down here anyway?

I thought I might have a word with Dido.

I doubt she'll speak to you.

Dido

Well, perhaps a brief conference.

Dido

Don't get too excited. Say the wrong thing, and I might just feed you to Cerberus.

likes this.

Okay, who fed Cerberus a honey cake with drugs in it again? Psyche, Aeneas—I'm looking at you!

Psyche

I haven't been to the Underworld in years!

Not gonna lie. It was me.

Next time, you will pay. I can't have my watchdog sleeping on the job like this.

I think we should confiscate those honey cakes, dearest husband.

Why's that?

Oh, you know. So neither Psyche nor Aeneas can use them on our precious puppy again.

You just want to knock him out yourself.

That's absurd.

Psyche

Dude, you are so busted.

I'm tired of all this anti-Cerberus talk. It's just another example of the prejudice against "monsters" that is so pervasive in our society. We of the Monster-Human Alliance will not stand for such slanderous talk.

Polyphemus

Well said.

Hydra

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Stop whining. It's unbecoming.

Monsters are born to be slain by heroes. You all should be glad. It gives you a purpose in life.

If you guys don't want to be slain, then maybe you shouldn't be so monstrous.

For the record, if you ever try to touch my dog again, Heracles, you're going to see how monstrous I can be.

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