Common App 1: Background and Identity

The Prompt

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

The Essay

Intro

Being different is lonely. No one ever tells you, but it's true. You can be in a huge group of good friends and feel like a complete outsider if there's something about you that "others" you.

I first truly realized I was different when I was in middle school. That's when my classmates started holding hands and pairing off, and it was all anyone could ever talk about: Garrett's holding hands with Kristen, but only one week after holding hands with Frannie? What a jerk.

The beginning of adolescence is when it truly started for me.

Body

I always knew I liked girls, but as people always tell me, "You never would have guessed it." I don't fit the mold. No one's ever screamed at me on the street because of my apparent sexuality. Coming out to my family was also very simple; my mom's brother is gay and so are a few cousins on my dad's side. Homosexuality is not a big issue in my family.

I'm very grateful for this, by the way. There are people whose journeys have been much more difficult and painful.

Even so, as any non-straight person will tell you, it's a lonely life. For everyone you meet, unless they fit a certain stereotype, it's assumed that they're straight. If they're not, it's rude or tactless to ask (it is a private matter, after all). It's a bit difficult to find someone to relate to, and even harder to find someone romantically compatible. No one in my immediate group of friends at the time was openly gay, so whenever the subject of dating came up (which was very often), I just checked out. I couldn't relate, and no one asked me to.

I'm not one to just complain and do nothing. Still, it took me a while to figure out what to do. For middle school and part of high school, I had myself convinced that it wasn't a big deal. It almost worked.

Finally, in my sophomore year of high school, I joined the Gay-Straight Alliance. My high school was much bigger than my middle school, so I met a lot of other people like me. From there, I learned about our city's Queer Center, where I met even more people like me. This is where I met my first girlfriend. I joined a Chicano Rights group with her, because being a Chicana is something I can't relate to with her. For once, I was part of the majority in a group of minorities.

Conclusion

I'm not a sociologist or a psychologist (I've only taken AP Psych). Still, from what I've observed, humans are naturally social. We need to interact with people. Feeling alone is horrible, and depending on the extent of isolation, it can also be traumatizing. This is why communities are so important. Being a part of a community of people saved me.

Why This Essay Works

This essay covers a young person's journey from emotional loneliness to a sense of belonging. Her sexual orientation is part of her identity, but it's not the focus of the essay. Being a lesbian could have been switched out with anything else that would make someone a minority: being a person of color, being trans, having a disability, etc.

We also see that she steps back when she needs to. She discusses her very fortunate situation with her family and with the public; she's never been bullied or targeted because of her sexual orientation. Immediately after, she checks her privilege by saying how grateful she is.

Also, in the concluding paragraph, she makes a claim about the way humans are. She acknowledges that she's not an expert, but her claim isn't that far off anyway.

In the end, this personal statement is something we can all relate to: Being different can be pretty lonely. This is why niche communities are important.

This essay's a little on the short side, but the message is short, sweet, and to the point, so it works.