Die Heuning Pot Literature Guide
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Conchobar mac Nessa's Wall

Wall

Hey, I'm hosting all my exes—and my current hubby, Ailill—on a new season of The Celtic Bachelorette. Wanna join?

Nah, I'm good. I've got plenty of women to keep me busy. Right, Deirdre?

Tinne mac Connrach

I'm in! I'll show up in a limo wearing nothing but a banana hammock.

Eochaid Dala

Uh... I'm contractually obligated to a different network. I'm gonna be competing on Ireland's Got Talent. Sorry.

is wondering who his dad really is.

Cathbad

It's me, son. Where do you think you get your magical powers from? I'm a Druid.

Fachtna Fathach

I think it might be me... hey, who knows?

Uncle Con, want to play a round of football?

By "football," do you mean American football or soccer?

Soccer, you dimwit.

Nessa

likes this.

Deirdre

Ugh. I can't even...Who would want to marry an old geezer like you?

You're going to, whether you like it or not!

Deirdre

Just watch me.

Naoise

likes this.

threw a shot of whiskey at Ailill.

hates Naoise. Hates, hates, hates him.

Brown Bull of Cooley

What's up, bro? How's it hanging?

Not bad. You?

Brown Bull of Cooley

Not bad. Just wanted to let you know what an army's coming your way.

What?!?

Brown Bull of Cooley

Yup. Gonna go paw the ground now.

King Arthur

Your Majesty, are we related?

Not sure. Don't think so. Who are you?

King Arthur

Arthur Pendragon, king of the Britons, lord of the Round Table.

I definitely don't think so. I would've heard of you.

Conall Cearnach

Hey, who's your favorite nephew? Me or Cúchlainn?

Well, have you ever saved my country singlehandedly? Let's see...

Conall Cearnach

Fine! I'm going to get a massage. That'll reduce my tension.

What's a man got to do to get a drink around here? Oh, yeah: ask the servants!

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