Coriolanus Introduction

 

What is Coriolanus About and Why Should I Care?

Planning on winning—or losing—any elections? (Even a popularity contest counts.) Then you won't want to miss this hand list, straight from campaign headquarters:

Dos and Don'ts of Running for Political Office: Lessons from Coriolanus

  1. No calling your votes "scabs," "dissentious rogues," or "curs" (1.1.176, 174, 179).
  2. No calling your voters on their bad hygiene. Never tell them they smell "musty" (1.1.250) or that they really need to "wash their faces / And keep their teeth clean" (2.3.68-69).
  3. If you're a big time war hero, feel free to show off your fresh battle wounds and old scars (2.3). Voters totally dig that. This can all be made easier if you're wearing the traditional Roman toga "of humility" (2.3.42).
  4. Nobody likes a tyrant, so never threaten to take away the peoples' right to political representation just as soon as you've been elected to office. It kind of defeats the purpose of asking people to vote for you.
  5. If you manage to get exiled from your homeland (3.3), do not raise an army and seek revenge. Killing their relatives and burning their city to the ground is definitely not the way to rock to vote.
  6. Confused by all the rules? Just remember this one: being a politician is like being an actor. If you hate the voters, just pretend you love them and tell them exactly what they want to hear, even if you don't mean any of it.