PBIS: Respect

Sample Lesson - Introduction

Lesson 1.01: Respecting Self

 

Even Superwoman needed to learn how to respect herself. (Source)

Out of all the people you'll ever meet or become familiar with in your life, you will spend the most time with yourself. Yep, it's true. You're pretty much stuck with yourself for life.

Sorry. We know this might be jarring, so we'll give you some time to adjust.

Okay. Now that the obvious has been stated, the question we want to ask is this: Do you love and accept yourself? Hey, if you're stuck with yourself, you may as well enjoy your own company, right? Yeah? We'll go ahead and say yes.

Take a look in the mirror. Resist the urge to sing "Reflection." It's difficult, we know, but we want you to look at yourself. In fact, look inside yourself. You know yourself better than anyone, probably. Now, ask yourself, "Do I love me?"

The answer should always be yes, even if you've done stuff you're not proud of—even if there are things about yourself you'd like to change. Why? That's what having self-respect is all about. Self-respect is not a value judgment. It's acceptance. Warts and all, man. Otherwise, you're a human punching bag. Figuratively, of course.

But accepting yourself is easier said than done, isn't it?

Well, good thing we at Shmoop are here to help. In this lesson, we'll be going over what self-respect is, the importance of self-respect, and how to achieve it.

Sample Lesson - Reading

Reading 1.1.01: Respect Yourself

Let's begin this lesson with another definition, shall we?

Self-respect: pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity. (Source)

Let's skip honor and dignity for now. Those are for another lesson. Here are some givens: self-respecting people are confident. They are proud. They love and accept themselves. They treat themselves to ice cream sandwiches when they deserve 'em.

So how do you treat yourself with respect?

Let's see.

First of all, self-respecting people probably wouldn't accept being bullied or treated poorly. Does this sound obvious? It is... but it's also super-easy (for a variety of reasons) to forget about. But we'll lay it out for you: there is no—and we mean zero—reason for you to think you deserve to be bullied or treated badly. Stand up for yourself. You'd stop a puppy from being treated badly, right? Well, you should treat yourself better than a puppy.

Self-respecting people also accept the fact that they're not perfect, and they aren't too hard on themselves when they fail. They can identify what they need to improve and love themselves in the process. Again: think of that puppy. A puppy is adorable, but not perfect. You don't give up on a puppy when it goofs and pees on the rug, or chews up a pair of shoes, right? Right. Treat yourself better than that puppy.

Baby Steps

We can't tell you what's best for you, but here are some common ways to get in the right mindset for self-respect:

Learn to forgive yourself. You make mistakes, you learn from them. Don't dwell on the things you can't change. Puppy logic: you don't get mad at a puppy for not knowing how to read, right? Exactly. Don't get mad at yourself for messing up; puppies can't read because they're puppies, and you mess up occasionally because you're human.

Take care of your body. This can include a healthy diet, exercise, good personal hygiene, and generally not stressing yourself out so much. This doesn't mean being a certain size, and it doesn't mean that you have to be in perfect health have self-respect. Taking care of your body helps with body image and confidence, which can help with self-respect.

Puppy logic: you don't sigh over a puppy having floppy ears or brown spots on its back, right? It's a puppy. It looks the way it looks. (Adorable.) Be nice to yourself in the same way: just like that puppy has floppy ears, you have a big noggin/short legs/freckles/curly hair/long toes.

Treat others the way you want to be treated. Give respect, get respect. It obviously doesn't always happen this way, but it's a good principle to live by. People will want to be around you. How others feel about you can affect how you feel about yourself.

Puppy logic: part of the reason we love puppies is the fact that they're so dang enthusiastic and loving. If some weird person doesn't like puppies, it reflects poorly on them, doesn't it? Treat yourself the same way: be loving, but also be wary of people who don't act lovingly back to you.

Treat yourself the way you treat your loved ones. You wouldn't call your mom ugly or say your friend isn't good at anything. That's messed up, so don't do it to yourself. There's a difference between modesty and self-deprecation.

Puppy logic: treat yourself the way you'd treat a puppy. And by that we mean "kindly," not "giving out a lot of Milkbones."

Okay, these next ones stray a bit from the rock solid Puppy logic we've been using up to this point. But just because we can't always compare you to a puppy doesn't mean we're not 100% right. (We're 100% right.)

Be honest. This is generally a good quality to have, but being honest with yourself will also help you figure out who you are, what you want in life, and what you need to work on.

Don't compare yourself to other people. You can aspire to be like someone you admire, but don't compare yourself to others if it's just to be hard on yourself. That's not fair. You do you.

Learn the difference between constructive criticism and disrespect. Sometimes people's criticism is useful and can help improve you. Other times, people are just being mean. Know when they're just being mean and call 'em out (respectfully).

Sample Lesson - Activity