Cúchulainn (Cúchulain)'s Clique: The Muscle Men
These jolly jocks spend most of their time bench-pressing hundred-pounders and chugging protein shakes. Every meal consists of an entire salmon, complete with a giant case of Gatorade. Each member carries a bottle of baby oil with him to show off his muscles to swooning ladies.
This Greek god of war tries to run the show. He stretches like a champ, concentrating on his biceps and delts. Ares then challenges everyone to wrestling bouts, which he usually wins. He's Cúchulainn's best frenemy—they spar regularly in friendly boxing challenges, but have also duked it out over more than a few girls.
Gilgamesh might come from Sumer, but he's no stranger to the Irish Cúchulainn. Gilgamesh is a two-time Ultimate Fighting Champion who has moonlighted in more than a few infomercials for ab exercises. He's also a regular practitioner of Tae Bo and yoga.
This Anglo-Saxon god of the sky is a formidable opponent in battle because he can shift into any shape he wants. He likes ticking off Gilgamesh, so he'll morph into the Sumerian goddess Ishtar while arm wrestling with him. His pet ravens sit on his shoulders and chirp into his ears what moves his opponent will pull. Hey, whatever it takes.