| Quote #1
His feet are just inches from my head. I should comfort him—I should want to comfort him, because I was raised that way. Instead I feel disgust. Someone who looks so strong shouldn't act so weak. Why can't he just keep his crying quiet like the rest of us? (7.117)
We admit, this is kind of a weird quote to start talking about friendship. Here's Tris on the first night, and she's disgusted that Al can't keep it together. But Al is only expressing out loud what everyone ("the rest of us") is feeling. So maybe this quote shows a reason for strong friendships to form here: everyone here is going through the same feelings. They already have something in common.
| Quote #2
"I am not frigid!" I exclaim.
"Don't worry about it," says Will. "It's endearing. Look, you're all red."
The comment only makes my face hotter. Everyone else chuckles. I force a laugh and, after a few seconds, it comes naturally.
It feels good to laugh again. (8.47-53)
If everyone feeling sad (but not crying about it) is a good foundation for friendship, this is the, uh, first floor of friendship: joking around and laughing together. Now, of course it's Will—the joker and teaser—who is leading this friendly moment, but even Tris joins in. But here's a question that's never answered by the book: why does she "force a laugh" at first? Is it just to fit in? Or is it because she's not used to laughing?
| Quote #3
I guess I haven't really had a friend, period. It's impossible to have real friendship when no one feels like they can accept help or even talk about themselves. That won't happen here. I already know more about Christina than I ever knew about Susan, and it's only been two days. (9.7)
If you can't remember Susan, she's a neighbor from the Abnegation days who… well, we don't remember. Which is kind of the point: Abnegation don't talk about themselves (or laugh very much, since it's hard to joke about self-sacrifice), so you can't really make close friends there. Which means that when she arrives at the Dauntless compound, the whole having friends thing is totally new potatoes.