by Bram Stoker
Dracula: That’s Not a Hickey Quiz
Think you’ve got your head wrapped around Dracula? Put your knowledge to the test. Good luck — the Stickman is counting on you!
Q. Why does Count Dracula enlist the help of Jonathan Harker?
To reunite him with his long-lost brother, Count Chocula
To finalize his divorce
To defend him at his murder trial
To help him purchase an estate
Q. Which trait of Dracula’s freaks out Harker?
His ability to communicate with wolves
His ability to walk as if on air
His ability to shatter glass just by looking at it
His ability to bend his thumb all the way back to his wrist
Q. What does Harker realize once he is inside Dracula’s castle?
That he made the right choice in contacting Extreme Makeover: Creepy Old Castle Edition
That he is a prisoner there
That Dracula must be able to see in complete darkness
That the statues seem to be alive
That there is no turndown service
Q. Who discovers Harker when he is trying to leave the castle?
Three female vampires
Q. What malady overcomes Harker before he can return to England?
A brain cloud
A brain tumor
Q. Where does Harker stay to recuperate?
A Hungarian convent
A Bulgarian hostel
A Moldavian whorehouse
The Holiday Inn Express off I-76
Q. Why is Van Helsing needed?
To attend the movie premiere with Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale
To investigate the blood seeping out of the sewers
To check out Lucy, to see if he can figure out why she has been losing blood
To slay the dragon outside the gate of the castle
Q. What happens to Lucy after she dies?
She is cremated and her ashes are scattered into the river
Her body goes missing from the mortuary
Nothing happens to her—girlfriend’s dead
She is stabbed in the heart and beheaded
Q. What does Harker do just before returning to England?
Narrowly escapes the clutches of one of Dracula’s henchmen
Stocks up on real food, as he sure as heck won’t be getting any in England
Stops by a souvenir shop
Q. What would have happened if Dracula hadn’t been caught and killed quickly?
His powers would have increased once the sun set
Harker’s fiancée would have turned into a vampire
Harker would have lost a £100 bet with Van Helsing
He would have murdered two innocent children