by William Faulkner
Dry September: Perfect Conditions for a Forest Fire Quiz
Think you’ve got your head wrapped around Dry September? Put your knowledge to the test. Good luck — the Stickman is counting on you!
Q. What is the name of the woman who has supposedly been victimized?
Q. What does Hawk say about Will Mayes, the accused?
Hawk saw him do it
Will couldn’t have done it
Hawk doesn’t know the man
Will was the best darn centerfielder the Giants ever had
Q. Why does Hawk believe Minnie is imagining that people are coming on to her?
Because she is unmarried and old
Because she has been going crazy ever since her husband died
Because since she reported spotting Bigfoot at the grocery store, she has lost all credibility
Because she likes the attention
Q. What did the previous rumor about Minnie entail?
She had been married to a black man
She was half black
She had accused a man of watching her undress through her window
She had been seen cavorting with co-star and Hollywood hunk Clark Gable
Q. What does McLendon take with him when he goes looking for Will?
A bag of Clif bars and a six-pack of Propel, in case he gets lost
Q. Why did the widowed bank clerk leave Jefferson?
Because once he broke up with Minnie, it was too painful to stay in town
The bank he worked for was moved to Memphis
To get a change of scenery
If you had ever been to Jefferson, you wouldn’t need to ask
Q. What habit has Minnie developed?
Biting her fingernails
The habit of taking showers... finally
A drinking habit
Counting her steps wherever she goes
Q. What does Hawk do when in the car that McLendon is driving?
Jumps out while the car is still moving
Grabs McLendon’s arm, forcing him to crash the car
Keeps switching FM stations, annoying McLendon, who is purely a talk radio kind of guy
Threatens McLendon to kill Will if he doesn’t pull over
Whispers into Will’s ear what he needs to do to escape
Q. What does Minnie hear people saying about Will when she goes into town?
That he went on a little trip
That he got run out of town
That he, like, totally likes her
Q. What does McLendon tell his wife that he hates?
When she grinds her teeth
When she snores
When he gets that one popcorn kernel stuck in-between two of your back teeth, and there’s nothing he can do but wait for it to work itself out of there
When she waits up for him