How we cite our quotes:
Since Father was away from Frell, we drank the soup sitting in Mother's bed. If he had been home, I wouldn't have been in her room at all. He didn't like me to be anywhere near him, getting underfoot, as he said. (1.54)
Because nothing says "loving family" like not wanting your child to be anywhere near you. Gee, dad, way to set your daughter up to have a lot of failed relationships with really unsuitable dudes.
Everyone called it losing Mother, but she wasn't lost. She was gone, and no matter where I went—another town, another country, Fairyland, or Gnome caverns—I wouldn't find her. We'd never talk again, or laugh together. Or swim in the River Lucarno. Or slide down the banister or play tricks on Bertha. Or a million things. (2.11-12)
However dysfunctional the rest of Ella's family life is, she and her mother loved and cared for each other. This seems to give her a core of inner strength that lets her rise above the awfulness that's the rest of her family.
"I forgive you, child. We in the peerage are forgiving. Your poor mother used to be known for her ill breeding too." (3.56)
Coming from Hattie, that's almost a compliment. This statement also reinforces how much Ella is like her mother: truthful and not bound by silly things like politeness.