How we cite our quotes:
Not enemies, not friends, but brothers – able to live in the same house. (1.16)
We first meet Ender as a kid who doesn’t have friends. Heck, his first wish is that his brother will simply allow him to live. That’s a pretty poor wish – he can’t even let himself hope that his brother might be his friend. All of this drives home the idea that Ender and friends don’t mix – like dogs and chocolate. Or something.
“Nowhere in that does it say I have to make friends with children.” (4.75)
Graff will pretty soon reverse himself on this statement and tell Anderson that he is Ender’s friend (4.98). But as far as Ender knows, this is it – Graff isn’t his bud and, frankly, none of the kids are either. (Especially after Ender broke that one kid’s arm.) But here’s one thing that we know that Ender doesn’t, which is that Graff really is his friend. So, while Ender thinks he’s all alone in the world, we know that he secretly has support.
"They don't want to teach me everything," Ender said. "I wanted to learn what it was like to have a friend."
Alai nodded soberly. "Always my friend, always the best of my friends," he said. (7.55-56)
Going along with our last quote, we can see that Ender’s friendships are still complicated: Graff may be his friend (in some way), yet he can’t, you know, go out and see a movie with him. Meanwhile, Alai may be Ender’s friend for ever, but they’re still separated here. So even when Ender has friends, those friendships are complicated.