Judge: The Honorable Themis, Goddess of Divine Justice, Presiding
Prosecutor: Dike, Goddess of Mortal Law
Defendants: The Fates (The Moirae): Clotho, Lachesis, Atropos
Hermes: Hear ye, hear ye, this divine court is now in session. All rise for the honorable Themis, Titan Goddess of Justice, mistress of divine law.
[Themis enters. All rise, except for the Moirae, who snootily spin, measure, and cut thread.]
Hermes: Excuse me ladies, but you have to rise.
[The Moirae ignore him.]
Hermes: Excuse me...
Atropos: We do not excuse you.
Lachesis: Keep pestering us, and your immortal life may find a swift end.
Clotho: I wish I'd never caused him to be born.
Themis: Leave them be, Hermes.
Hermes: Whatevs, anyway... ugh, now I've gotten off script.
Themis: Announce the prosecution and the defense, dummy.
Hermes: Oh, yeah. For the defense, we have Dike, Goddess of Mortal Justice.
Dike: I am honored to stand before you, Mother.
Lachesis: What a suck-up.
Atropos: I never liked her.
Clotho: So holier than thou.
Dike: How can you three behave this way in the court of our mother?
Atropos: Why are you all bothering us when we've got so much work to do?
Dike: Maybe some of us would have less work to do if you three weren't completely sadistic.
Lachesis: If I cared one bit about what you thought of me, I'd be offended by that.
Themis: Enough, all of you.
Hermes: Seriously, everybody, we're never going to get through this if you don't let me talk.
Clotho: Well, talk then.
Hermes: The defendants, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, have elected not to have a defense attorney, saying (and I quote): "You can take your defense attorney and—."
Themis: That's quite enough Hermes. Let us proceed.
Hermes: The court will now hear the case.. .oh man... the case of "The Moirae vs. Every One Who Has Ever Lived, Is Living, and Will Live." Great, we're going to be here for a while.
Themis: You have somewhere better to be?
Hermes: Well I was going to hang out with the Muses tonight…
Themis: That can wait. Dike, the court will hear you now.
Dike: Mother, the charges against these three are almost too long to even recite.
Themis: We're all immortal here. We've got nothing but time.
Dike: Since the beginning of time, the Fates have woven a horrible existence for mankind. There's been war, betrayal, murder, famine, and disease. The earth is a place where the evil are rewarded while the good are punished.
Themis: Sometimes that isn't true.
Dike: I concede the point, but what kind of gods are we to force our subjects to live in a place where evil is ever allowed to win? Where wrong is allowed to disguise itself as right? Surely as a goddess of justice you share my need for fairness, for order and tranquility for all.
Themis: Your words have been heard, Dike. It is time for the defendants to speak.
[The Moirae ignore them and continue their spinning, measuring, and cutting.]
Hermes: Umm, ladies, it's your turn to talk now.
Clotho: What was that?
Atropos: Oh, sorry...
Lachesis: We were just too busy ruining the universe.
Themis: I've had enough of the attitude, ladies. You're still my daughters.
Clotho: Mother, we just don't see the point in even addressing these charges.
Atropos: They're juvenile.
Lachesis: Truly beneath us.
Themis: Explain yourselves then. That is the purpose of this court.
Clotho: Dike is blind.
Atropos: Just as blind as those statues they make of her these days.
Lachesis: Blindfolded and holding scales.
Dike: Those statues show me as blindfolded because I am fair and impartial.
Clotho: Maybe that's how those sculptures are intended, but what they truly show is that you are blind to the larger flow of the universe.
Hermes: This is getting way too deep for me.
Themis: Quiet, Hermes.
Atropos: She says we create injustice in the world, but perhaps we simply balance a scale too large for her to comprehend.
Lachesis: What is bliss without horror?
Atropos: What is trust without betrayal? What is love without hatred?
Clotho: What is birth without death?
Lachesis: A thing cannot exist without its opposite.
Atropos: Without injustice there would be no justice...
Clotho: And that would mean that neither of you...
Lachesis: Themis or Dike...
Atropos: Would exist.
Hermes: Oh, man, what about me?
Dike: No one cares about you! Shut up!
Hermes: Yep, definitely wish I were with the Muses right now.
Themis: Do you have a retort, Dike?
Dike: If everything must have an opposite, then what is the opposite of Fate?
Clotho: Free will...
Atropos: Which is synonymous with chaos.
Lachesis: Do you want the universe to go back to that, Dike?
Clotho: To total darkness and disorder?
Atropos: Is that what you want?
Dike: It doesn't have to be that way.
Lachesis: It does.
Dike: But why? Why?! Why?!
Atropos: Say so.