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Fates's Wall

Wall

Oedipus

Just want to say thanks to the Moirae for giving me the worst fate ever.

Clotho

You had some good moments in your life, Sonny Boy.

Oedipus

Like when?

Lachesis

You solved the riddle of the Sphinx and became the King of Thebes. Wasn't that nice?

Oedipus

I also accidentally slept with my mother and killed my father, and then I stabbed my own eyes out and wandered the earth in misery until I died in a pitiful heap on the ground…

Atropos

Everyone's a critic.

The Herd of Laius (from the Oedipus story)

Oedipus is right. You guys are awful.

Clotho

What do you have to complain about?

Lachesis

Yeah, you lived a reasonably happy life herding your flock.

Atropos

And you died peacefully in your sleep.

The Herd of Laius (from the Oedipus story)

You made me unknowingly contribute to Oedipus' fate.

Clotho

Not such a big deal.

The Herd of Laius (from the Oedipus story)

You also made it so that nobody remembers my freakin' name. Look, I have to call myself "The Herd of Laius (from the Oedipus story)" for anybody to even confirm my friend requests.

Thanatos

Hey ladies, do you think you could cause fewer people to die this week?

Clotho

Nope.

Lachesis

Nuh-uh.

Atropos

Not a chance.

Thanatos

Ah come on, I seriously need a vacation.

Lachesis

Stop whining and get back to work.

Clotho

I'm not sure why we even associate with you.

Atropos

You are a lazy slob, and we've never liked you.

Thanatos

I'm the hardest working god there is. Do you know how many people are dying all the time?

Atropos

Yes. We know exactly how many.

Thanatos

You three are merciless.

Clotho

Am I crazy, or did Death itself just call us merciless?

Just giving a shout out to my lovely daughters. ;)

Clotho

What do you want, Dad?

I can't just say whatsup to my favorite girls without having an ulterior motive?

Lachesis

You could, but you never do.

Atropos

Just spit it out, Dad.

Well, I was wondering if you might adjust the fate of this lovely mortal girl I met yesterday…

Lachesis

I can't believe you're even asking this.

Come on, she's doomed to be devoured by a pack of hyenas, and I've barely even gotten to know her yet.

Atropos

You know we aren't going to change our minds.

You could, but you never do.

I'm still totes mad at you guys for the death of Adonis.

Atropos

We don't care.

You guys are terrible!

Fo sho...why did my Daphne have to be taken from me?

Orpheus

And Eurydice?

Does my daughter Persephone really have to stay in the Underworld for part of the year? Does she really have to be married that disgusting Hades?

Why am I stuck with such an annoying mother-in-law?

Why am I stuck with a cheating husband?

Why am I stuck with a cheating wife?

LOL!

Why am I so awesome?

Why did I die by having my skin melted off my body?

Why was I dismembered so many times?

Why did I get my head chopped off?

Clotho

Because...

Lachesis

We...

Atropos

Said so.

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