Our narrator feels it’s important to begin his story with a lecture about his name. His first name is Philip, and his last name is Pirrip. Philip Pirrip. When we try to say that name ten times fast, we end up saying "filapeera." Because it is such a challenging name to enunciate, our narrator decided at a young age to call himself, "Pip" for short, and we are much obliged to him. This is a 500-page novel, so the shorter the better.
Pip is an orphan who lives in the marsh country along the river Thames, twenty miles from the sea to be exact. He lives with his mean sister, Mrs. Joe Gargery, and with her blacksmith husband, Joe Gargery.
Pip’s parents died before he was old enough to have memories. So he likes to chill in the cemetery with their gravestones. He thinks each grave marker is indicative of their personalities, and, thus, gets to know more about them.
Dum dee dum. We continue to hang out with Pip in the cemetery in the late afternoon, chilling with the family graves when, suddenly, someone jumps out of a hiding place and grabs Pip by the throat. This someone looks like Mr. Clean, but a dirty and beat up Mr. Clean.
The scary Mr. Clean look-a-like tells Pip to be quiet or else. Then he demands that Pip bring him some wittles (a.k.a. vittles; a.k.a. food) and a file (a sharp metal instrument, not something you save on your computer). Then he shakes Pip a little, turns him upside down, tells him he’ll cut out his heart and liver if he doesn’t obey, and disappears into the marshes.