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Gwydion's Wall

Wall

Arianrhod

Thanks a lot, bro!

What're you mad at me for? You knew that Uncle Math has this weird tic—he can only survive during peacetime when an unblemished maiden holds his feet. I don't get it, either, but you knew that you had to be pure when you applied for the job. It's not my fault you weren't so pure and secretly gave birth to two kids when you were getting your physical during the job application process.

Arianrhod

At least you didn't saddle me with those kids. Dylan's a cute little blondie and Lleu's not hard on the eyes either, but you're a better parent to Lleu than I'd ever be.

Lleu

likes this.

I had to hide him in a box for four years, though! He was like a Welsh Moses.

What should I dress up as for Halloween this year?

Gilfaethwy

Bro, I think we're too old for that.

I'm gonna crash an H-ween frat party. Maybe I'll be a grapefruit this year.

Gilfaethwy

Why a grapefruit?

We don't get much citrus in Wales, so it's a fantasy.

Goewin

Hey. Guess what? I'm starting an "I Hate Gwydion" fan club.

That's your loss. I knew my brother had a crush on you, but you had to stay pure to be Uncle Math's footbearer. So I tricked him to go to war against Pryderi of Dyfed—when he's at war, he needs his feet free. While he was away, Gilfaethwy made his move on you. Not my fault.

Goewin

Now that I don't have my reputation, at least I still have my status as queen of Gwynedd. Unlike you two, your uncle Math is a good man! He married me and now I've got power over both of you.

Fine. You win. For now.

is wondering why his annoying sister won't give her son a name. Wait! She just did. Ha!

Arianrhod

You're such a pain. I can't believe you turned into shoemakers and made a pair of gorgeous stilettos you knew I'd want to buy. Then, when I was paying, you encouraged Lleu to throw a needle at a poor bird. What the heck?

I'm really good! That little nut had such good aim that he broke the wren's leg. You told me he had a "fair, skillful hand," which gave him his name—Lleu Llaw Gyffes. I won this round!

Arianrhod

I'll still curse Lleu. He won't ever carry weapons, so he'll never be a warrior, unless I give them to him. I'll never do anything of the sort. Take that!

Why won't my sis give Lleu any weapons? My bad. Lleu got them!

Arianrhod

I can't believe I fell for this again. You dressed up as storytellers and told me Gwynedd was at war, so I, out of the goodness of my heart, gave both of you weapons to fight off our enemies.

You're such a fool.

Arianrhod

Fine. He'll never have a human wife! Unless he marries a horse or a ghost from the Underworld, he'll be single forever.

Lleu

I finally got the best of my mom, thanks to you, Uncle Gwyddie and Great-Uncle Math.

Math ap Mathonwy

We tricked that sly Arianrhod again by making a woman out of flowers and calling her "Blodeuwedd."

She's not fully human, so we win. Again! And Math was nice enough to make Lleu and his new wife rulers of the lands of Eifionidd and Ardudwy.

Arianrhod

I give up. You're too smart... but I'll deny your Facebook friend requests.

Math ap Mathonwy

threw a boar's foot at Gwydion.

Lleu

Dude, I think I'm in trouble. I'm pretty sure Blodeuwedd is cheating on me with one of our neighbors, Goronwy. I'm scared for my life! She even knows that I can't be killed like most men.

Are you sure? Maybe she's just afraid to tell you she forgot to buy milk at the grocery store again.

Lleu

No, I'm pretty sure.

Pryderi

Thanks a lot! Now that you stole my prize pigs, I won't have an entry this year for the Welsh Porcine Competition.

At least I left you with some lovely horses and hounds. Plus, I didn't steal them—we made an exchange.

Pryderi

Nice try. When I went out to go riding to the hunt, the horses disappeared.

Hahahaha!

I dreamed that I was back in the forest, punished for my part in Goewin's seduction. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything at all within Gwynedd.

Gilfaethwy

I remember. We were turned into deer, pigs, then wolves.

That wasn't even the worst of it! When you were a male deer, I was a doe—and that pattern repeated until we had three kids together. Ugh.

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