I want to turn, run to him, throw my arms around him. This would be foolish. There is nothing he can do to help. He too would drown.
I walk to the back door, into the kitchen, set down my basket, go upstairs. I am orderly and calm. (44.19-20)
No matter how much the narrator might want to flee when the Eyes come for her, to do so would condemn Nick as well as herself. He would not be able to help her; she would only pull him down with her. To cope, she does what she always does: retreats into a passive space and zones out.