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Hapi's Wall


Kayaking down the Nile. Why didn't anyone pack me a snack?

I'm here, buddy. Look down.

Oh! You're in croc form. You scared me.

What else would I be? Here's a turkey wrap for you.

Yo, son!

Excuse me?

You're my son, Hapi!

Uh, no. You've got the wrong guy. Same name, different being. Sorry.


Please make the Nile flood!

You forgot the magic word.


I said, "Please!"

The magic word begins with an "H."


Oh, hot Hapi, handsomest Hapi, help!

Sounds good.

Hapi, I need a vacation. Can you float me somewhere?

Sure. How about Memphis?

No, too cosmopolitan. How about somewhere exotic?

I can get you to rural Greece.

Sounds good. Book it!

is singing Maroon 5 in the shower. Who gave a band any right to be so catchy?

Hapi, I'm coming over to Egypt to do a few deeds. Can you help?

What now?

Hey, don't take that tone with me, Mister! I can dry you out faster than the hottest drought.

What can I do for you, sir?

That's better. You can make sure my barge doesn't get eaten by crocodiles.

You might want to talk to Sobek about that, but I'll do what I can for you.

Cannnoonn ballll!

Man, I was trying to get some sun! What was that for?

I needed some stress relief.

Next time, try to do it at another cataract.

Hapi, would you mind diverting some of your nice, clean Nile water to Greece? It's a bit parched over here.

How do you propose I do that? It's not like I can send it across the Mediterranean Sea.

Maybe just an amphora or two? I'll send Hermes to come pick it up.

Fine. But you owe me a whole lot of papyrus plants for writing.

Hapi, are you dead yet?

No, why?

I miss hanging out with you, and it's such a pain to have to come all the way up to the world of the living.

How about we meet near the pyramids? Is that halfway?

Next Tuesday works.

Let's go swimming!

Can I skinnydip?

Fine. Just stay a few cubits away at all times!

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