Interview with Hector
Hector is truly one of the most beloved figures in all of Elysium, the city of the blessed dead. People are always saying that if anybody deserved a blessed afterlife, it's Hector. Though he's a major celebrity, he likes to stay out of the spotlight. Luckily for us, though, he recently decided to give an exclusive interview to Inside Elysium, the top magazine of the Underworld.
Hector Revealed, the Exclusive Inside Elysium Interview
Interviewer: So Hector, how've you been adjusting to life down here in Elysium?
Hector: Well, it's been thousands of years, so I'd say I'm pretty well adjusted.
Interviewer: Great, and the family?
Hector: Andromache and Scamandrius are just fine, thanks. People used to say a lot of bad things about death, but we kind of like the Underworld. A good place to raise a family.
Interviewer: You certainly landed in a good spot.
Hector: I can't complain about being in the city of blessed dead, that's for sure. The rent's a little high, but it's worth it. It's peaceful, you know?
Interviewer: You value peace, don't you?
Interviewer: That's one of the things our readers love about you. You were an amazing warrior, yet you were against the Trojan War.
Hector: It was all so easily avoidable.
Interviewer: Do you harbor any resentment toward your brother for starting the whole thing?
Hector: I don't want to talk badly about Paris.
Interviewer: Of course you don't. You're just that kind of guy. But seriously, though, he caused your city to be destroyed, your entire family to be slaughtered. Thousands of Trojan citizens were killed or taken as slaves, all because he couldn't keep his hands off of another man's wife.
Hector: Things were complicated with Paris and Helen.
Interviewer: To say the least.
Hector: He was awarded his bride by Aphrodite.
Interviewer: Seems like she could've cleared it with Menelaus first. Am I right?
Hector: Love rarely asks permission.
Interviewer: Oh my, how profound. Tough and intelligent. No wonder King Priam chose you to lead the armies of Troy.
Hector: Maybe my father should have thought a little harder about that choice.
Interviewer: What do you mean?
Hector: Well, we lost, didn't we?
Interviewer: But you were dead by the time the war was lost. You still blame yourself?
Hector: Maybe I shouldn't have been dead.
Interviewer: Do you resent Achilles for killing you?
Hector: I killed his beloved Patroclus. It was war. These things happen.
Interviewer: Still, he jabbed a spear into your throat. Dragged your body behind his chariot for your family and all of Troy to see. He would've let your corpse be eaten by dogs and buzzards if the gods themselves hadn't intervened and convinced him to let them take your body.
Hector: I don't want to talk about this.
Interviewer: Sore subject?
Hector: I'd say so.
Interviewer: Do you ever hate the Greeks for what they did?
Hector: I try not to.
Interviewer: So forgiving.
Hector: I've grown wiser over the centuries.
Interviewer: I've even heard that you and Ajax work out at the gym together.
Hector: He's honorable. I like him. We wrestle.
Interviewer: Reliving your famous duel, huh? Who usually wins?
Hector: It's a draw every time.
Interviewer: You guys just never will be able to figure out who's the better warrior.
Hector: That's not important to me.
Interviewer: Of course it isn't. That just isn't the kind of guy you are.
Hector: No, sir, it's not.