Die Heuning Pot Literature Guide
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Your Field Guide to Spotting Helen

You're not the only one to come around here looking for Helen. But you won't find her up here on Olympus. If you want to gaze on the most beautiful woman that ever lived, you'll have to head down to the Underworld. She and her husband, Menelaus, live with the other blessed souls in Elysium. Here's a hint: if you do manage to make it down there, do not under any circumstances call her "Helen of Troy" around Menelaus. Even though it was a really long time ago, he's still got his boxers in a bundle over the time she ran off with that Trojan Prince Paris. Seriously, watch what you say around him. He started the Trojan War because of that little incident, and we're guessing he's not afraid to start another one if someone says the wrong thing around Helen. There's no doubt that Helen is drop dead gorgeous, but her beauty has made a lot of men do just that—drop dead.

Sex: Female (you know it)
Age: Forever Young
Build: Perfect
Complexion: Perfect
Hair Color: Perfect
Facial Hair: Gross
Scars/marks/tattoos: Not a chance
Jewelry and accessories: As much as possible
Clothing: Beautiful Robes
Armor: Ha!
Type of Weapon: Staggering beauty

Typical Companions:

Paris (during my Trojan years)
Menelaus

Known Hangouts:

Sparta
Troy
Elysium
Beauty Parlors

Next Page: Photos
Previous Page: Sightings

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