"Home Burial," published in 1914, shows a household scene from its time, an era when women were still not even allowed to vote. The different gender roles in this poem complicate the power relationships, and make the emotional communication between characters more difficult. The husband makes derogatory comments towards women, and the wife makes derogatory comments towards men. Call us pessimistic, but we have a feeling they're not going to meet in the middle anytime soon.
Both the man and woman in this poem have stereotypical ideas about the other gender, and that's why they can't have a real, healthy, productive conversation about their loss.
This couple is just using gender stereotypes as an excuse for their fight. The different ways in which they grieve for their son have nothing to do with gender.