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Interview with Horus the Elder

Breaking News Report

Anchor: This morning on Upper Egypt News at Six, we'll be talking to the merchants of Karnak about the latest rise in incense costs. Soon, we're going to have to invade Punt to find enough myrrh to keep Amun-Ra and Khonsu happy! It's just ridiculous—

[Anchor looks to the side of the camera, where someone is holding up a hand and waving.]
Anchor: Oh, looks like we've got some breaking news. Let's hold that Karnak report, Sherit. We need to break to Amunhotep, who's on the front outside Behdet.

[Station plays trumpet fanfare while the graphic WAR AGAINST EVIL flashes across the screen in huge red letters.
A reporter is standing on the middle of a sand dune, close to a large group of hawk-headed men who seem to be gearing up their weaponry. It is almost dawn.]
Amunhotep: Thanks, Mehy. This is Amunhotep, son of Nyny, reporting from the edge of Behdet-town. I'm embedded with the Horus army, as it gets ready for the final assault against Apophis and the sons of disorder. Rumor has it that the final attack is coming when Ra rises at dawn, but most of these soldiers don't seem to be able to—

[One of the soldiers shoves the cameraman away, causing Amunhotep to fall off the screen. Some scuffle is heard.]
Amunhotep: Hey! We're from NileTV, what do you think you're doing?

Soldier: Will you shut that light off before someone sees it? We're sitting hawks up here!

[The camera light goes off, and you can barely make out Amunhotep in the twilight shadows.]
Amunhotep: Oh, sorry. Didn't realize—

Soldier: Shh! The general's coming.

[A hawk-headed man, bigger than the soldiers, appears next to Amunhotep. He is decked out in shining gold armor and carries a massive khopesh.]
Horus the Elder: Morning. Problem, gentlemen?

[The soldiers all snap to attention. Amunhotep and the cameraman stand perfectly still, terrified.]
Soldier: We just asked him to shut the light off, sir. [Points at the cameraman, who swallows nervously.]
Horus the Elder: Ah, the press. Here to record our victory?

Amunhotep: Y-yes, sir, um, General Horus, um, your godlike majesty… But how do you know you'll win?

[Horus the Elder just stares at the reporter for a long moment.]
Amunhotep: [looks very uncomfortable and clears his throat] Okay then. When do you win?

Horus the Elder: (peering over the edge of the dune at something no one else can see) Soon as Ra gives the sign.

[The sun starts rising. A giant shining disk of light sinks to the ground right in front of where Horus is standing, and the soldiers and the news crew are forced to turn away from the brightness of the light coming out of it.]
Ra's voice: [booming out of the sky] You have fought hard and brave, my son. Today is a good day, the day we end this war. Take my sun disk, and make it the sign of your victory forevermore. Let all evil see it and run screaming from your mighty arm!

[A great cheer goes up from the soldiers as Horus the Elder takes the sun disk and puts it on his back like a giant shield. In a flash, he becomes a full hawk, grasping the khopesh in his claws, and rises above the dune just as the sky brightens with the new day.]
Horus the Elder: Brothers, it is time to kick evil in the you-know-where.

[Another cheer, and the army rushes down the dune with the hawk at its head. Amunhotep wipes the dust off his face and shakes his head a few times.]
Amunhotep: Wow. That was intense. We'll be heading over the dune to record the victory of Horus and his winged disk over evil in a few minutes…

Anchor: [to screen] Thanks, Amunhotep. [Turns back to camera.] We'll continue our coverage of the War Against Evil all afternoon. Praise Ra!

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