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by Dante Alighieri

Inferno: Only the Good Die Young Quiz

Think you’ve got your head wrapped around Inferno? Put your knowledge to the test. Good luck — the Stickman is counting on you!
Q. According to Dante, who are the worst of the sinners?

Those who lacked self-control
Those who committed fraud
Those who committed violence
Those who produced reality television programming
Q. How do Dante and Virgil descend into the eighth circle?

They climb down an incredibly long staircase
The elevators are down, so they have to wait for maintenance to show up
They mount and ride the beast Geryon
They jump from the seventh circle, landing into a hot pool
BMW's - isn't that the best way to travel?
Q. Why is Ulysses in the eighth circle of Hell?

Because he turned in a report on The Iliad after reading only the CliffsNotes
Because he murdered his wife, Penelope, and his son, Telemachus
Because he had an affair with one of the Sirens
Because he counseled his crew to sail into dangerous waters, where they perished
Q. What are the fates of Judas, Brutus and Cassius?

They get off relatively easy, only having to do Hell’s dishes and mow Hell’s front lawn
They are immersed in ice up to their necks
They are continually chewed on by three-headed Lucifer
They are repeatedly disemboweled by a demon, healed, and punished again
Q. How do Dante and Virgil emerge from Hell?

They climb down Lucifer’s body
They cling to the legs of a giant eagle
It is not explained - they are simply, suddenly back on the surface of the Earth
They leave Disneyland on a Saturday with plans to come back later in the week