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Iris

Iris

 Table of Contents

Iris's Wall

Wall

I don't see what's so great about all these newfangled methods of communication...

Don't be a brat just because we're not really needed as messenger gods anymore.

I can't believe you're OK with all this!

Hey, I'm loving the time off. Gives me more time to focus on my psychopomping.

Oh, yeah, congrats on the Psychopomp of the Year Award

Thanatos

Don't mind him. He's just bitter.

I understand bitter. I just hate all this stuff. Cell phones, texting, email, Facebook... whatever.

You're on Facebook…

What else am I supposed to do? I don't have a job!

Going out with the Harpies tonight. Gonna be awesome!

Okypete

Love you, sis.

Aello

Can't wait.

Caelano

Squawk Big Billy's Country Buffet!

Didn't you guys snatch all the food there, poop on the scraps, and destroy it with a whirlwind?

Okypete

You saw our show on YouTube?

Of course! The Food Network is crazy. You guys would've had great ratings.

Aello

We're trying to film the second episode.

Caelano

Torment squawk!

Okypete

That's right. Instead of just tossing Big Billy's restaurant into the sea, we had a whirlwind take it to the Strophades with him inside. Now we torture him daily by forcing him to cook for us. Every time he tries to eat something, though, we take the food away and poop on the scraps.

Aello

Great television, right?

Hmmm…

Hey pretty girl. Want to go out with me tonight? I could totes use a rainbow in my entourage.

I don't know. Feeling kind of down.

Come on! We can tell everybody how you saved me during the Trojan War.

Okay, maybe.

Callais

Iris, you really need to do something about your sisters.

Zais

What they're doing to Big Billy is worse than when they tortured Phineus.

Callais

This time it's not even Zeus telling them to do it.

Zais

It's just them being mean.

My sisters are just misunderstood.

Callais

Well, we're not going to stand for it.

Zais

No way.

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