Poem [Lana Turner has collapsed!]
This is a pretty short poem, so we don't get to know tons about the speaker. This is what we do know: he gets into petty arguments with loved ones, he's "acted perfectly disgraceful[ly]" at parties in the past, and he loves celebrity gossip.
Despite his argumentative tendencies, the speaker seems like a pretty amusing guy. We'd probably all like to know a little bit more about what he's done at those parties. Is he referring to drinking? Sexual encounters? Drugs? Who knows. He keeps this information to himself – he's a little bit coy, which just might make him all the more attractive.
In addition to being an enthusiastic partygoer, the speaker seems like a fun friend to have around. He's the type of guy who would know which celebrities are secretly dating and which are secretly in drug rehab. He's not a Hollywood insider – he's not a celebrity himself – but he seems to know and care a whole lot about them. Maybe he's a little bit gossipy, maybe he's a little bit bickery, but we'd bet that he'd be a whole lot of fun to hang out with.