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Quotes

Quote #4

[...] they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. (1.3.58-64)

Gee. Why does Falstaff describe his pursuit of the housewives as though it's kind of financial venture? Oh, we know. Because it is a financial venture. Falstaff wants to hook up with Mistress Page and Mistress Ford so he can get access to their rich husbands' money. This guy might be interested in a sexual relationship with the women, but he's definitely not interested in love.

Quote #5

Ask me no reason why I love you; [...] You are not young, no more am I; [...] you are merry, so am I; ha, ha! [...] you love sack, and so do I; (2.1.4-8)

Seriously, Falstaff? We've read better pick-up lines on the walls of public restrooms. Although, we've got to admit that Falstaff's attempt to seduce the merry wives is pretty entertaining.

Quote #6

[...] I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names—sure, more,—and these are of the second edition: he will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under Mount Pelion. (2.1.65-71)

Oh, snap! When the "merry wives" find out that Falstaff has sent them the exact same love letter, they compare his writing to the kind of romantic literature that's mass-produced by the printing press (a fairly recent invention when Shakespeare wrote the play). Their point? The love letters are identical rather than original and therefore, can't possibly be sincere. In fact, they say, Falstaff doesn't care what he "puts into the [printing] press" just like he doesn't care who he "presses" to his body during sex. Very punny, ladies.

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