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Noam Chomsky
Noam Chomsky
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Noam Chomsky’s Social Media

Shmoop eavesdrops on your favorite critic’s online convos.
Alan Dershowitz

Just saw a really disturbing movie about a totalitarian government that deprives all of its citizens of their civil rights and uses genocide as a tool of foreign policy.

I saw it too—that new documentary by Errol Morris on America and the Middle East?

Alan Dershowitz

No, it's about Nazi Germany's occupation of Poland.

Could've fooled me.

George Steiner

I know quite a bit about Nazis, having published extensively on Adolf Hitler and the Holocaust, and I have to say I think you push the hyperbole on the America-Third Reich thing.

As I have told you before, George, we don't know the half of what's going on here. Someday they may look back at me and see me as a tool of a government as bad as the Third Reich.

Alan Dershowitz

And while you're at it, I'd like you to lighten up on your criticism of Israel. Weren't you raised in a Jewish household? What would your mother say?

Hannah Arendt

Read Heart of Darkness for, like the hundredth time, such a good read. Those Belgians were some real bullies in the Congo. All that amputation and stuff. Grizzly.

Susan Sontag

Um, I would like to interject that Francis Ford Coppola did a marvelous job of adapting the horrors of imperialism to the screen. Beautiful panoramic shots of the jungle. Amazing cinematography… oh, that sunset!

Good to hear from you ladies. Susan, but if I may… Let's forget the aesthetics for a moment, shall we? Vietnam is not a war or a film, it's a country. And America did some jacked up stuff there.

Hannah Arendt

Amen to that.

We should have never gotten involved in that war. I don't even like to broach the subject.

Susan Sontag

Look, I'm the one who said that Communism is "Fascism with a friendly face." I get it.

David Eli Chomsky

Hey, Noam, buddy. Did you hear about the new mall opening up down the street? We'll have to go pick up some new duds. (Your whole slapdash intellectual look is getting a little tired. And time for some new frames, bro.)

Have you lost your marbles? When was the last time I went to a mall? With the possible exception of Cold Stone ice cream, I pretty much refuse to patronize any corporation. And those malls are pure corporate corruption.

David Eli Chomsky

That's cool. I just wanted to hang out. Maybe we could go visit the Statue of Liberty or something that doesn't involve shopping.

Do you know what would happen if someone saw me there? I can't be academia's biggest critic of American government, pointing a big bony finger at the smoke and mirrors of our democracy, and go to the bloody Statue of Liberty. Do you ever read my work? I feel like we're growing apart.

David Eli Chomsky

Chinese food?

Do you have any inkling as to the extent to which the United States makes back door deals to keep wealth in the hands of the elite in China, and at home?

David Eli Chomsky

I'd say "See you at mom and dad's for Thanksgiving," but you'd probably just say that you don't celebrate that fascist holiday.

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