Nothing Chapter 14 Summary
- Jesus on the Cross is a rosewood crucifixion sculpture that hangs over the altar in Holy Karl's church. It's pretty graphic, with its blood and tears and crown of thorns, and all the little kids in the congregation are scared of it.
- They draw cards again to see who has to go help Holy Karl swipe it. The losers are Ursula-Marie, Jon-Johan, Richard, and Maiken.
- After the Sunday service, Holy Karl hides in the church until it's locked up (once again, no adults seem to notice he's missing.) The other three go to the church and knock, and when Holy Karl lets them in, he starts crying.
- Maiken has to stay with him to keep him from running off, because he's begging them not to take Jesus. Jon-Johan and Richard start trying to pry Jesus loose, but Jesus is fastened pretty tightly. You know how Jesus can be.
- Ursula-Marie walks over to Jesus, lays her hand on his foot, and feels her palm get burned. Then Jesus just randomly slides down the wall and off breaks the leg Ursula-Marie just touched.
- Even though they're all totally freaked out and want to run screaming, they load Jesus into Holy Karl's trailer and go to the sawmill to dump him on the pile.
- Cinderella the dog wigs out, because apparently she's scared of Jesus, too. They can't even get him onto the heap because she's barking and growling so much, so eventually they just have to leave him in the middle of the floor, which we can't imagine Jesus appreciates.
- The next day, Cinderella has peed all over Jesus. Oops. And even though it's not really funny, everybody but Holy Karl cracks up.
- Sofie brings a tape out to the sawmill, and they all have a little dance party to some tunes, because that's apparently what you do when you've totally gone 'round the sociopathic bend.